a picture from my first instructional flight

A wise person once told me that you are either capturing the moment, or enjoying it - but not really both at a given moment

This was a piece of advice that I've thought about for some time. It's made me look back and reflect the life I've lived so far, and the things I've done

Growing up, I never took many pictures of myself. Neither did my family or early friends. I didn't have that many photos to look back upon my life, and it always seemed a bit disappointing

Years later, I moved to a new city and started a fresh life. There was this sense of adventure and excitement. There were so many things to try! And I wanted to capture all of it along the way

Everything from a picture of a lizard running about, chickens walking across the street, photos of friends, etc. Pictures of me doing every hobby imagineable. Pictures of fun time and adventures I could look back on.

And I would share a large section of those videos, pictures, etc on social media - almost like a journal log. It was also a way to connect to others - to build a community around the things I enjoy. Seemed like a win win

But I never put a cap on it though. Eventually it became an addiction, a place to get a sense of constant externalized validation. It became politically complicated as my circles overlapped and evolved both professionally and personally. It became a place where I would get FOMO because I'm not doing as awesome things as other people are.

At some point I would not be in the moment anymore. I would calculate what pictures I'd put on social media. For approval from connections I didn't really care about or weren't present in my life.

Those connections I made would be based around that public appearance. People would know me as "that guy who ran tech events in Tampa" or "that guy who does cool stuff". Nothing else. The moment I stopped having a public persona was the moment those relationships ended.

A new door opened up though. I've learned through all this loss whom I could trust and keep around. This transition was a proving grounds of sorts, and now I have fewer but higher quality relationships. I've learned more about myself a lot more in the process

This process is journey for me and it still is.

Things are no longer a destination approach first. I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I don't need to calculate for public approval. I don't need permission from anyone to be myself.

Now I am starting anew with no real plan. This time with less naiveté

I've always found this quote to live by:

It's the journey, not the destination that matters