Deciding between big decisions

Often times when I am faced with big decisions in my life, I will do some soul searching on the internet.

Sometimes I will google search on reddit and quora for inspiration - granted some of the advice on the web is overly biased. Other times I will ask a friend who knows me best, read a few self-help books, reflect on my life goals, talk to a random Uber driver, etc. The bigger the decision, the more time I will spend sleeping on it

I've found that the best advice always come internally, as I tend to know myself best

Instead of asking myself "Should I do X", where X could be moving to a new city, I write things out by two "want" statements. "Want" and "Want not"

Example of deciding to move cities:

  • I want to move
  • I do not want to move

These are with the assumption that I have an abundance of options, e.g. things are not needs driven as those always come first. Because I work remote I also have an abundance of options

However, these statements are in present tense. I look towards future tense as well - e.g. which statement do I see myself saying in the future?

  • I moved because ABC reason
  • I thought about moving but I chose not to because DEF reason

In the event of something like moving cities, both the present and future tense should agree with each other

In this case, "I want to move" and years later "I moved because ABC reason" are the two statements I have to agree with most before moving cities

Any other combination of things, I choose not to do anything and stick with status quo

I make an intent as well not to talk about the decision until I've already made progress in that given direction.

Hi 👋

I'm Vincent Tang, a web developer specializing in modern Javascript. This website is my digital garden of notes on backend, frontend, and devops! I'm the founder of Tampa Devs and I also run a coding podcast called Code Chefs

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